April 28

April 28

I came close to death.

Internally, anyways.

I almost lost her. It was the worst experience of my life. She was going to leave.

I considered suicide. But I'm a wimp. I would never.

But she's still here and happy and loving.

Why? No one will tell me why.

All I told her was that I had been praying and reading my bible and writing this journal. And she came back.

She had written me a long heartfelt letter that described in detail how she was feeling about me. And I told her what I had been doing... those two things don't add up in my head. She begged me to take her back, and that confused me even more...

I don't deserve her. Yes, I've been doing all those things, but I still treat her worse than she deserves. I should've begged her...

I'm still a wreck on the inside. I don't want to tell her, though. I care about her too much.

But sometimes it feels like too little... God, help me to understand.

Thank you for the opening night going so well. Help us all to keep it up. Please make tomorrow's show amazing, for your glory.

Help me to treat Mick the way you demand your children to be treated. Teach me to be a leader, Lord.